When every thing around you seems to be crumbling

The past several weeks have been really hard on my family and those around me.  At the end of October I found out that a close friend lost her husband. It was like the wind was knocked out of me as I read and reread the words she had sent to me.  There was no making sense of it.  I prepared myself for what I would say to her and her children during such a difficult time.  I found myself having an extremely hard time trying to find the words to even explain such a tragedy to Levi.  It was only a few days later that I got another devastating phone call.  My grandfather, a Tech fan, but an amazing man, had passed away.  He was 91.  He had lived an amazing 91 years and has left behind children, grandchildren and great grandchildren.  This was yet another hard blow to the chest.  I had not even begun to process the loss of Clint and here was another loss that our family would need to face.  It is easy to curl up and let grief and sadness over take you.  I have had those moments.  I have tried to remain in the present and think about the life both Clint and my Grandfather lead.  Both filled with happiness and amazing experiences.  It is unfortunate that Levi has seen so many deaths in his life but it is also very fortunate as he has known his great grandparents which for a lot of people this is something that never happens.  Levi has been a rock for me over the passed few weeks.  He gives me hugs when he knows I am sad, he tells me jokes when he knows I need to laugh. 

As we come into the holiday season we are again faced with some sadness.  Levi has a friend who was diagnosed with terminal cancer last year.  We have known from the beginning it was terminal and we were told a few months back it would only be a few months before we would have to say goodbye.  It looks like that time is closer now.  I have always been honest with Levi about his friend and how the cancer will eventually take his life.  Levi has been amazingly strong and very brave during all of it.  I am a complete mess as I know this will be a heartbreaking loss for not only his family but for the school community and all of the classmates.  The thought of having to prepare for the death of a child is something I can never fully understand. 

I know my words are a little all over the place with this entry but that is how my thoughts are these days.  One foot in front of the other, getting through one day at a time at the moment.  Cherishing each little breath and every smile and giggle.

~Sara